Columbia Photo Montage #4

Welcome back, Columbia suckers, er, I mean students. Now that you've finalized your $50,000 tuition payment, now's probably the best and last free moment you'll have to learn about the school you've signed your soul over to. Enjoy.

#16.

Columbia University: Oh, you'll have a big vocabulary and lots of books, but you'll still have to depend on a high school dropout to fix your printer.

#17.

Naive freshman, Cynthia Warner attempts to buy back some of her unattended belongings from shrewd Harlem natives already selling them as their own.

#18.

The Columbia janitorial staff have neglected repairing this verdigris-stained clock, permanently stuck at 12:32am, since 1906, using it as an excuse for why they're constantly late for work.

#19.

Tired of his know-it-all student's "so what?" expression, Professor John Tierney challenges his defiant pupil to a bout of "sophisticuffs" after class adding, "I hope you like Fist and Knuckle Casserole."

#20.

Campus love catches like cold and spreads like herpes sometimes in the most unlikely of places. Here, a nubile junior grapples with his first stirrings of homosexual longing moments before his neck is snapped in the Dodge Fitness Center.