#21. Here at Columbia, an institution established by King George II of England, we settle student disciplinary matters in the jolly good olde fashioned way— public stabbings.
#22. Sadly, these unlucky business school students were too absorbed in their rousing discussion of adjusted revenues to see the black, giant boulder rolling behind them.
#23. Although she has eight doctoral degrees in China, Professor Xiang Tsedong's students cannot understand a single word that comes out of her mouth, but they want to... by God, they want to.
#24. The Subway, only one of literally one-hundred job paths available to Columbia graduates.
#25. Columbia's Queer Alliance meetings have dazzled homos for decades. Their officers (pictured here) are renowned for their flamboyant, quasi-period costumes, self-aggrandizing proclamations of fabulousness, and other assorted douche-baggery.
